The Self-Destruct Button in Retirement Planning

"In any given moment, we are either stepping forward into growth or stepping back into safety." – Abraham Maslow

I’m not one to drink and drive, but I have known people who do.

We all have our blind spots. Habits we know aren’t good for us, but for some reason, feel like safety. For some, it’s drinking. For others, it’s emotional overspending, risky investing, or an inability to say “no” to family members whose poor decisions put our own futures at risk. 

It may not look like a self-destruct button, but that doesn’t mean it’s not quietly eroding the very security we’ve worked so hard to build. In our work, we often see that when it comes to retirement planning, the danger isn’t always the market, inflation, or tax.

Sometimes, it’s… us!

We are not spreadsheets. We’re human. That means our plans need to be flexible, resilient, and human, too. The classic retirement plan — save consistently, invest wisely, and draw down in a structured way — only works if life behaves. And life rarely does.

What if your spouse is no longer the person you want to grow old with? What if your adult child makes poor financial decisions or marries into chaos? What if your health shifts unexpectedly, or you fall prey to a sophisticated fraud scheme?

These aren’t hypotheticals for many of our clients. They’re lived realities. And they can derail even the most carefully constructed retirement plan if not anticipated with empathy, structure, and foresight.

That’s why at Bespoke Financial Services, we don’t just plan for your finances. We plan for your life.

We explore how to ring-fence your assets in case of family fallout. We talk through how to hold wealth in vehicles that reduce tax drag, protect against creditor claims, and ensure continuity should your mental capacity change. We include buffers, both financial and emotional, so that your future self doesn’t have to carry the weight of today’s unresolved decisions.

It’s not always easy to talk about these things. But it’s essential.

Growth, in this context, means being willing to face your own humanity… and planning accordingly. The most robust retirement strategies come from those who are willing to ask the hard questions: What if I change? What if my family changes? What if I live longer than expected, or not as long as I hope?

Revisiting your plan doesn’t mean it was wrong. It means you’ve grown. It means you’re paying attention.

And if you’re still working from a plan that’s five or ten years old, or if it was built when you were in a different career, a different marriage, or a different mindset, maybe it’s time to update the map; not because you’re lost, but because the terrain has changed.

You don’t need to hit the self-destruct button to realise that. But you do need to act before life forces your hand.

Let’s review. Let’s adjust. Let’s protect the life you’ve built — and the person you’re becoming.

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Are you tired of feeling stuck, or starting to see that perhaps you’ve been destructive with your finances? You’re not alone. I’d love to chat.